Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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