The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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