We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
