I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
