I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize