Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
