nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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