note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
