Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
