Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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