dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
