come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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