you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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