I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
