Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
