suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
