i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
