This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
