If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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