At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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