I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
