Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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