Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
