After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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