I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
whose ass print is on the piano?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
