alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
