If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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