He uses pillows to masturbate.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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