Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
