The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i now understand why vodka
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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