We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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