Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
