I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
