I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
