he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I checked into jail on foursquare
she pinky promised me she was 18
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
