Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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