Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize