their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
