yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
