Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
