He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize