Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
