whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
