And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
