You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
