before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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