Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
