Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
