Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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