I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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