We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize