Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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