CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize