shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i think i just lost a toe
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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