Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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