I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize