well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
