No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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