i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
