11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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