Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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