Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I didn't notice because vodka
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
