already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
