Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize