His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
