I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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