Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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