I'm eating all of the evidence.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize