ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
