So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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