we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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