I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
