Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you win again, gameday.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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