why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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