wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm at about main and main street
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
