I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
